Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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