Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
