Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
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we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
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Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
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