"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
