I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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