Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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