I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
