So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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