Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I puked a lego.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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