Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
