My brain says no but my pants say off.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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