So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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