then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
