After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
