I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
