R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
