I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
