i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
