Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
