hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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