Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
