I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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