Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
