Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
