i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
