there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
