A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
dude. I can hear the air.
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