i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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