Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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