he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
