when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
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