I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
