I'm really into asian looking animals
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
