i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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