you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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