I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
