Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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