i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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