How'd it feel making her break her religion?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
