Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
