No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
