chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
