my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
