Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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