normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
