I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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