I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize