Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
