Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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