Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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