Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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