Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize