if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
