Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
