Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
