Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
