We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.