Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him

Fav 83 1275 4348
share tweet
(626): View more from California

I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"

Fav 9 1910 4799
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(631): View more from New York

do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?

Fav 14 4214 1205
share tweet
(651): View more from Minnesota

Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?

Fav 4 2897 1329
share tweet
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(440): View more from Ohio

By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.

Fav 10 2236 1191
share tweet
(847): View more from Illinois

I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?

Fav 10 1213 2550
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.

Fav 2 1933 1449
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...

Fav 3 445 711
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(336): View more from North Carolina

Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls

Fav 0 80 12
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT