thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
