He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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