Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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