I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
