I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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