I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Randomize
