I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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