Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
