I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
