My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done