Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(289): View more from Ontario

i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old

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(347): View more from New York

Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(310): View more from California

It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.

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(647): View more from Ontario

You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost

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(250): View more from British Columbia

This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.

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(937): View more from Ohio

Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.

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(914): View more from New York

the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil

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