if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.