This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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