I bet he comes in French.
sarcasm needs its own font
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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