I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.