I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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