I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
